Pacific Coast Community Church
17581 Newland Street
Huntington Beach, CA 92647
Phone: 714.847.5070
Website: www.PCCCHB.org
Pastor: Dr. Richard Winter
Worship: Sundays @ 10:30 am
We are a church for real people. If you are looking for a church that will love you and that desires for you to grow as a person, you have found it!
Agape House of Prayer
309 North Manchester
Anaheim, CA 92801
Phone: 714-774-0015
Website: www.AgapeAnaheim.com
Pastor: Joaquin & Jennifer Garcia
Worship: Sundays @ 11 am, Wednesdays @ 7 pm
One Soul, One Family At A Time
Our greatest desire for you is to meet and have an encounter with Jesus. We offer Prayer and encouragement, discipleship and most importantly the love of God.
The image of a man and a woman dancing together in three-quarter time is the best metaphor for (and experience of) a romantic relationship as it should be.
More specifically, a couple dance provides much of the information we need in order to understand what makes a romantic relationship work well. The man takes the lead, and the woman follows. He guides and protects her. She influences him, even as she admires him … and makes him look good to anyone who’s watching.
Leadership
I’ve included one of my favorite waltz videos here. There are so many couples on the dance floor it’s hard to imagine how they keep twirling around without crashing into one another. That is, unless you realize that each pair has only one leader.
It’s the man’s job to protect his partner from other couples on the floor, and to guide her steps as they swish and swirl in time to the music. If the woman starts criticizing what he’s doing or pulling him in a different direction, it will be impossible for him to take responsibility for the dance.
As Christian women, most of us have been taught that the man is to be the leader in the family. In reality, women have been running the show for a long time now. Let’s face it. We can make it through life without a man. But can we really live the life we desire?
Yes, we can survive. But in taking charge, we miss the beauty of what God intended our relationships to be. We not only make it impossible for our man to lead, but we deny what every girl’s heart longs for.
Every girl wants three things from the man she loves.
She wants him to protect her, to guide her, and to hold her. And as the leader, he was designed by God to do just that!
1. Protect Me
Men are designed to protect us. It’s a fact of life that men are bigger and stronger than women. And they have this wonderful quality about them: much much much high testosterone levels. Women’s bodies produce testosterone, too, but far far less of it than men do … without giving it a thought.
However, this very fact can make us afraid of them. When we feel intimidated or threatened by a man, we use the only surefire weapon we have: our words. And given that men are sensitive to us, our words usually work to “cut him down to size.” Not a bad thing if he’s the enemy. But if he’s our partner in life, we’ve just made it impossible for him to protect us.
2. Guide Me
Okay, this one may be hard for us to admit. But don’t we really wish someone knew the answers? And don’t we wish it was our man who knew? We love it when he solves a problem for us … and he does, too! His brain was made to solve problems, so you’re actually helping him fulfill his purpose in life when you let him guide. It’s very satisfying to a man when he can win in this way … finding a workable solution that makes life better for others.
However, guys get a bump rap for trying to solve our problems for us. Sometimes we just want them to listen (see #3 below). If that’s what we need, all we have to do is tell him that up front. Most guys are happy to provide whatever will make us happy, but we have to be specific about what we want … because guys don’t think like we do … at all!
3. Hold Me
This one is probably the most important of the three things a woman desires from the man she loves. And it happens while you dance. (Maybe that’s why I love waltzing so much!) Women not only want to be touched, but they want to be held … lovingly, caringly, respectfully. Research shows that being held by someone you love will dramatically reduce anxiety in a matter of minutes! We’ve all seen an anxious toddler benefit from being scooped up and held by a loving parent. As adults, we’re no different. We all need to be held sometimes. And women need it every day!
We’re vulnerable creatures, but we often don’t feel safe enough to admit it. We often get a bump rap by being called “needy” … especially by men. And we hate that. So we’d rather not say how we’re feeling … or ask to be comforted, reassured, held.
And that’s really, really sad. Because a man loves (and receives measurable emotional and psychological benefits) from holding the woman he cares for. If he only knew that’s what you needed … Most of the time, he just thinks he’s screwed something up and that you would like to have him beheaded.
What can you do to assure that your partner will protect you, guide you, and hold you?
First, he needs to know that you are following him, even if he’s not a very seasoned leader. A man can never become a really great leader if no one is willing to follow him. In a word, he needs you to submit to his leadership. Submission really means that you trust and respect him. It does not mean that you follow him blindly and without feedback.
Second, he needs your feedback. Both Scripture and research show that men need to be open to the influence of their wives. Otherwise, they’re doomed to failure. However, your feedback must not be in the form of criticism, attack, blame, or advice. What he desperately needs to know is what he is doing right … what pleases you … what makes you happy. Give him that, and he will pull out all the stops to make you even more pleased and more happy.
Finally, he needs you to help him look good to anyone who’s watching. He’ll stand taller and work harder than you ever thought possible. And he’ll love doing it … for you!
A couple of final thoughts …
Remember that the man you fell in love with is still in there … no matter what you may be going through right now. He longs to be your best friend, your protector, your guide, and your comfort. Let him be those things for you.
And remember to have fun together. That’s what best friends do! Sharing laughter and memories will strengthen your emotional bond and help you make it through the tough times.
Experience the Romance of Ephesians 5
Victorian dancing is stylish, elegant, and simple to learn. If you can count to two, you can polka. And if you can count to three, you can swirl to “The Blue Danube Waltz”!
For those of you who would like some practice before the event, Fred & Dr. Debi will be teaching the basics the Saturday before our Valentine’s Dance.
Ballroom Etiquette
Set Dances / Quadrilles
Round Dances / Couple Dances
You may be sure we will have as much fun at the Dance Lessons as we will as the Valentine’s Dance. However, our focus will be on learning the dances.
Take an old-fashioned approach to wooing the one you love with an elegant evening that demonstrates the power of Ephesians 5 in a very practical way – through the fun and romance of a 19th Century Ballroom.
Victorian dancing is stylish, elegant, and simple to learn. If you can count to two, you can polka. And if you can count to three, you can swirl to “The Blue Danube Waltz”!
We’ll begin the evening with Victorian Set Dances, taught by Mr. Fredric Judkins, Emmy award-winning Supervising Sound Editor, Dance Instructor, and Lover of Victorian Music and Culture. Through Couples Dances, he’ll show us how to enjoy the dance, whatever your level of dancing skills.
Throughout the evening, Mr. Judkins will share very practical ways we can “dance” together in step with God’s plan for men and women. Our goals will be to …
* Learn how to build wonderful memories and simply to enjoy our partners
* Learn what it means for a man to take the lead in a relationship
* Learn what a man needs from a woman to be a great leader
* Be very romantic, in true Victorian style
* Laugh and have some good, clean fun
More information is available at www.OCChristianCounseling.com
Dr. Curtis Lehmann
Have you been spending your day rushing from one thing to another? Sometimes we tend to fly through life so quickly that we hardly notice we are missing wonderful things. In the next few days, I would like to lead you in a few meditations meant to help you reawaken your awareness to the world you live in.
Look for the nearest window. Open the blinds or actually step outside if you need to or want to. Focus on something natural, something alive. It might be a flower, a tree, a bird, or even just the grass. Allow yourself to marvel at God’s creation. Imagine God creating that life with a stroke of a brush or with a sculptor’s chisel against clay. Notice any so-called imperfections in that life. Then notice how even the imperfections can be beautiful. You may even want to thank God for bringing that life to your attention. For the rest of your day, see if you can notice God’s creation this way again.
What if you could start your new life together
with more answers than questions?
Your marriage is one of the most important and satisfying relationships you’ll ever have. And like any quality relationship, to get a lot out of it, you have to put a lot into it. A successful marriage takes an investment of time, effort, and a commitment to your partner and to the relationship.
It takes trust, honesty, sharing your goals and dreams, and understanding each other’s values and outlooks on life. It also requires good listening skills, having an open mind, and a whole list of other qualities that are sometimes overlooked.
One of the keys is healthy communication. But how do you bring up difficult topics? How do you create a safe environment for open discussion? How to you listen in an understanding and loving way? How do you encourage those heart-to-heart conversations that are so key to really understanding your partner?
Build a strong, happy marriage through Premarital Counseling.
The PREPARE/ENRICH Program is a proven tool, scientifically developed to help couples stimulate honest, open dialogue about some of the most difficult subjects to discuss. Using our assessment tools, you’ll find it easier to understand your partner and create a deeper, healthier relationship, and sustain it over the years to come.
How does the program work?
You begin by taking the PREPARE/ENIRCH Inventory online to identify your current strengths and growth areas as a couple. You’ll then meet with Ylena, who will provide feedback to help you understand your results, as well as teach you important relationship skills during six 45-minute sessions. From beginning to end, the program is designed to be comfortable, relaxed, and even fun!
NOTE: As you prepare for your Wedding, you’re going to get really busy, so we recommend you begin Premarital Counseling about three months before your Wedding Date.
During Premarital Counseling, you will:
How much does Premarital Counseling cost?
We’re all about building strong marriages, so we offer this customized 6-week program with a professionally-trained counselor, for only $299.00 (plus $29.95 for the PREPARE/ENRICH Inventory).
Ready to get started? Click here to register now.
Meet Pastor Dave Carder, author and specialist in helping couples understand and recover from infidelity. He will be doing a training for pastors and counselors this Friday, November 4th in Irvine. Details and registration are linked below.
November 4, 2011 (Friday)
Torn Asunder: A Therapeutic Model for
Couple Recovery From Infidelity
Psychologists or BBS: 6 CE Credits*
Presenter: Dave Carder, MA, LMFT MFC25382
Time: 9 am – 4 pm
Location: Newsong Church, Irvine
Cost: $175 + $25 CE Fee
Target Audience: Couples Counselors
Skill Level: Intermediate, Advanced
Cancellation Policy: Registration fees will be refunded less a $25 fee for cancellations received by October 15.
Special Needs: Please contact OCCC by phone at 800.705.6223 prior to the event if you have any special needs due to disabilities.
Directions: Google Map to Newsong Church
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What woman doesn’t want to live out her favorite Fairy Tale? Here’s your chance to learn how to do just that in this all-day workshop presented by Dr. Debi Smith, Couples Psychologist and Expert in the Psychology of Men.
Saturday, November 12 |
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Timberline Knolls & Christian Therapists of Orange County invite you to a special luncheon honoring local pastors.
http://www.mbapr.com/email/timberlineknolls/TIM_VanguardLunchNov.html
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